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What I Do

My first job was in the countryside Mall in Clearwater, FL. It was after I graduated, after 2 terrible break ups, and after stopped giving a flip. It was a club-wear type store. Working around the type of people who shop there and the types of clothes we sold really taught me a lot about myself and others. It was frickin amazing.

10 Life Lessons You Learn at Club-Wear Type Stores in the Mall

1) you feel flippin amazing. No, seriously, everything you see and eventually try on (during your breaks or after your shifts or when you just come to the mall because you can’t stay away from the tight sex appeal) makes you look booty-licious and er’y boy er’y day wanna be all up on that milkshake.

2) The more time you spend staring at something,  the more you like it and want it and end up buying it. The effect is enhanced when you are trying to sell customers on it. “Oh girl, damn you look so good in them jeans and they are on sale!… …Imma be right back” (runs to employee stash with a pair to buy later)

3) It is never a good idea to buy your store’s clothes or mall food with a credit card. You will get yourself into a mountain of dept with very little to show for it. Also, do not get a credit card from sears. They are too generous for your own good.

4) Overweight women want to wear sexy things too, but don’t want to do the work to fit in a large or to go somewhere that actually carries XXXL, and like to inform the employees of this injustice. A lot.

5) If you are the right fit somewhere your coworkers feel like your family. If it doesn’t feel like that then it is not worth the money.

6) Older women who wear club-wear are the coolest. Younger women who wear club-wear are not so bad. Girls who want to wear club-wear are ignorant.

7) People are animals. disgusting, hide-their-garbage-in-the-rack, let-their-child-pee-in-a-bag-in-the-fitting-room, change-their-tampons-in-the-fitting-room-and-leave-it-there, nasty animals.

8) I like to party. A lot. And I like helping other people get ready to party. You CAN wear sexy clothes and just have fun! Women are not sluts or bitches or attention whores when they wear tight dresses, they are excited, dance-y and loving themselves.

9) Malls are mini countries where all the stores’ employees are friendly natives and the shoppers are annoying tourists who have no idea about the politics that make or break their favorite stores and the infrastructure is secretly falling apart.

10) Mall cops are useless dicks.

As soon as I got out of high school, I took a year to figure out all the different parts of my life: love, social, future. I was there for a year until the owners moved to Miami. I went on to work at Ross for about 6 months, first in Tampa then in Palm Harbor. from there I got a part time job at a Jewelry and craft supply distributor in Largo in the packaging department. 3 months in I leapt  at an opportunity for a position closer to the creative hub. I was working as a “design assistant” – which means I do whatever the jewelry designers, the graphic designers, the photographers, and anyone else asked for. I had been there for almost a year when they offered me another position. Product Development Assistant. This was huge. EDIT: this lead to me training a whole team to help me and morph this job into something entirely new, and then I moved on to a design position for a new department. Needless to say, it has been a dream come true!

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